The First Caregiver, the Good Samaritan
Many of us face the decision about whether to place our loved one in a nursing or memory care facility. I made this decision after my husband, Ed, spent three months of anxiety-filled days and sleepless nights. He was totally confused and kept hearing voices that told him to go home. It was his childhood home and his mother and siblings he wanted to be with. Of course, they were long gone, but his mind was back in the 1950’s. All the medications Ed took still did not offer relief from his constant fretfulness. We could not keep going without some interventions from professionals. When I did finally admit that I could not give Ed the type of care he needed, I was still plagued by guilt and worry. This is when my friend and fellow caregiver shared this message about how we caregivers are like the Bible’s story of the Good Samaritan. Below is what she shared with me. Evelyn Weaver
But a Samaritan traveler who came upon him was moved with compassion at the sight. He approached the victim, poured oil and wine over his wounds, and bandaged them. Then he lifted him up on his own animal, took him to an inn and cared for him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper with the instruction, ‘Take care of him. If you spend more than what I have given you, I shall repay you on my way back.’ Which of these three, in your opinion, was neighbor to the robbers’ victim?” He answered, “The one who treated him with mercy.” Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.” Luke 10:33-37
I have had many nights that I have not been able to sleep. Not all because I was upset or worried. I was thinking of all the caregivers and what they go through each and every day. Knowing that it never stops, my mind went to the Bible. There was my example of a caregiver. That is what we are, the Good Samaritans, showing God’s mercy. The Samaritan took care of the victim as long as he could and then paid the innkeeper to care for this person. So, whether we take care of our loved ones at home or put them in care of a nursing home, we are still in God’s eyes doing what is needed. Caregivers are the examples of good neighbors. This gave me comfort because we care for our loved ones, but this Samaritan took care of a stranger, that is what nursing homes do, take care of strangers. Maria King
A day in the life of an Alzheimer’s victim (Ed) and his caregiver (me)…
The deeper we move into this wretched disease, the more tasks become mine and the less time I have to correspond. However, today I need to share my frustrations! My husband has now moved into the Moderate stage of Alzheimer’s, so he can do less and less. His short term memory is practically gone, but he still remembers friends and family, which is a blessing. The problem is really with me! I often resent the fact that I have to assume all the responsibilities for: the house, the yard, the animals, the driving, the laundry, the shopping, the cooking, managing the finances, and teaching two online graduate courses. Then there is the time spent making sure that I eat right, exercise, take my vitamins, get enough rest and take some respite time. There are not enough hours in the day! How can I do it all?
The holidays are over, and a new year has begun. This is always an appropriate time to recall the best memories of the previous year and plan for more moments of joy in the coming days. Every occasion that brought a smile to your care receiver is an opportunity for celebration. Many of our happiest times last year revolved around family and friends. It is a joy to be with those who know and love you the best! We were able to travel to my mother’s ninetieth birthday celebration in North Carolina. My husband, Ed, really enjoyed the plane trip as he sat by the window and pointed out familiar landmarks as we flew over the Mississippi coastline. It was good to be traveling without getting constant instructions from the passenger seat! Although Ed did make some comments about how the pilot was flying the plane.?
These last few months have brought new challenges and many heartaches as I had to tell my husband that he had to stop driving. This was not easy for either of us and continues to be a source of aggravation. Then we went through the trauma of Hurricane Harvey disrupting our lives. Thankfully, we didn’t have any water enter our home, but there was much to be done before and after the storm. Now, we are facing an office visit with a new neurologist. This is stressful for both of us as my husband, Ed, is faced with his disease and I must relate to the doctor all the many ways he is struggling. In the midst of these struggles I have found wonderful encouragement from my support group. If you have not discovered the way others can relate to your problems, go find a group as soon as possible. You will be pleasantly surprised to find you are not alone in this caregiving adventure.
When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
We have two large hound dogs that are siblings from the same litter. The black and white male is named Hooch and the tan colored female is Hannah. These dogs have been a handful to train, but they are also wonderful companions. We have replaced their plush pet beds with indestructible K9 Ballistic cots as Hooch and Hannah kept chewing up the cloth bedding. Our dogs can be very competitive at times, even scrapping and growling at each other. However, when Hooch and Hannah are cold or scared, they will curl up together on one of the cots. They do need each other!
